Most eligible do-nothing named

Big news today! Town & Country Magazine (de rigueur reading for café society & socialites) named HHHHairy as the world’s most eligible bachelor. Imagine he topped the list of others even more undesirable like George Clowney, Jack Nicholson, George Hamilton (the latter two are in their 80s, the former is just a loser). That news was just above reports that the Brazil bikini wax has reduced infestations of pubic lice worldwide; that Jerry Springer finally admits his TV show is trash & without any redeeming social value; & that Buckingham has revealed the state secret of KKKKaty’s due date. (Of course, now they’ll have to start feeding the girl. The real reason she broke ancient protocol & skipped Betty Windsor’s Christmas banquet is because she actually wanted to have a meal.) (Caricaturesbylisa.com)