In what is clearly not a slow-news day, photographers & camera crews from around the world are camped outside the hospital where KKKKaty is being treated for morning sickness. Less than one percent of women need to be hospitalized for morning sickness but maybe now she’ll be able to get some food, even if it is hospital swill. Reports say David Cameron is giddy about the pregnancy & says the pair will make "absolutely brilliant parents." From whence he draws that conclusion, no one knows, since neither has shown any talent for anything at all & the Windsor clan has produced some very regrettable progeny. But appropriately, Snooki has offered KKKKaty pregnancy advice so our girl’s all set. It’s reported the pregnancy is being celebrated throughout Britain, the British Commonwealth & beyond. Tell us that aint so, England!
Meanwhile, the media is loaded with concern about changing the succession laws so KKKKaty & WWWWillies kid can take over the throne. They promote is as a progressive step for feudalism--so that female offspring can have equal rights with males. But more likely it’s to make damn sure HHHHairy doesn’t stand a chance of taking over. Well may you ask, taking over what!? The royal box at the horse races? But it’s the several million dollar allowance Betty & her mutant tribe get every year from the same public trough that can’t afford public education & the national health service.
We’re going to have hell to pay for the next several months as we endure every detail of her pregnancy: morning sickness, belly shots, & sentimental babble up the wazoo. It’s going to be the mother of all Hallmark moments. We’re looking to the republicans to be kill-joys & await their public comments.
This baby thing in England is only a day old in burning up the media but already it's risen to the level of farce. Now Paddy Power, the Irish bookies, have launched a series of bets on the baby, including its name, gender, day of birth, hair color, godparents. There’s no need to feel left out since you can do your betting with Paddy Powers online. Surely the most regrettable thing is that the poor child will come into the world as part of the creepiest family in kingdom come. Let’s be frank, would you want Charlie as your grandfather & Betty & Phil as your great-grandparents!? What are the odds the kid will grow up any less creepy than them?
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