Monday, September 10, 2012

HHHHairy deployed

The whole family is letting their hair down during Betty’s jubilee: HHHHairy may have taken it a little too far in Vegas so to change his image from barfly to war hero they shipped him off to the same fox hole in Afghanistan they always use as a stage prop for his war photos. The English Ministry of Defence says he’s going to fly helicopters against the Taliban because the threat to HHHHairy's life in Afghanistan is less severe in helicopters than when he was an on-ground air controller. But of course what they mean is that in a helicopter he’ll only be a danger to himself rather than directing air traffic & jeopardizing the entire US-NATO air force. A Taliban spokesman named Zabiullah Mujahid phoned Reuters to announce they intend to get rid of him through killing or kidnapping. "We have informed our commanders in Helmand to do whatever they can to eliminate him," but he declined to reveal the details of the “Harry operation.” No kidding! US-NATO has 150,000 experienced soldiers in the country & the Taliban is worried about bumptious HHHHairy!? Just how damn credulous does the Ministry of Defence think we are!? He’ll be out of there on the next private jet back to Buckingham just as he was on his last deployment. Spokesman Mujahid is a shadowy figure who was reportedly arrested last year & his cell phone confiscated; some say he’s a composite of several people, some suggest he’s a fictional device, & others say he’s just a phone prankster from rural Iowa claiming to speak for the Taliban. Meanwhile, while her grandson is grandstanding in Afghanistan, Betty took the family on an outing to a sack race in Braemar, Scotland where they whooped it up, certain that once again the image of feudalism has been ransomed from disaster. (Photo of HHHHairy fighting the Taliban by Daily Mail)

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